Surviving NICU as a twin dad

Surviving NICU as a twin dad is a guest blog by Andy Nortey a father of three. In this blog, he shares his experience at the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit as a twin dad.

Saturday, May 31, 2014 remains one of the days I also consider anytime I observe the birthdays of my sweet but ‘terrorists’ twin daughters. I named them Janelle and Jaelyne.

As the first girls in my family over two generations, they were adored and were like the diamonds in the family.

On that fateful Saturday,May 24, when they were born, the news got to me while on my way to a friend’s wedding. I requested to abandon the wedding to go to the Korle Bu Teaching Hospital to check on my wife and the girls. I decided not to believe until I see them; perhaps because of the disappointment people have gone through with baby gender predictions through scans.

I was, however, advised to go to the wedding and pass by afterwards which I agreed to because of the roles I had to play.

I got to Korle Bu around 5pm in the company of my brothers and a few friends.

When I got there and was ushered into the VIP ward and saw my wife and the two beautiful angels, I was short of words.

At the moment, I knew the ‘boys boys’ dominance in the family was broken to the glory of God, other girls have followed.

I asked about when we’ll be going home and I was told in a day or two time, depending on my wife strength.

Discharged after three days

After about two or three days, we were discharged and after bills were settled, we packed home on a rainy afternoon. It was a joyous moment for all that was associated with the breakthrough.

But I remember the last advice from the senior nurse on duty; cautioning that we have our eyes OPENED on them.

She asked for close monitoring and that made me curious to ask for the reason. She then explained that they were ‘pre term’, born at 32 weeks and although they were fit to go home, preterm babies can be very vulnerable to a lot of complications so we should bring them when we noticed anything abnormal.

With my inexperience in this aspect of life, I wondered what migh these abnormalities might be.

Since they stayed at my in-laws place, I visited them on weekends and on days when I had a lighter schedule.

Interestingly, most of the time I visit, they were asleep. They will wake up briefly and sleep again.

But there was this day that my wife’s mother came to the room to check on them and realising they were sleeping, she insisted that we wake them up to see their father well.

It was this day I noticed their eyes were becoming yellowish, sharply bringing to mind the advice of the nurse.

Quickly we took them back to Korle_Bu. We thought we would be discharged after examinations but that was never the case.

Babies admitted at NICU

It rather marked the start of another torturous journey as we were told they would be kept at the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). My heart beat abnormally and wondered what we did wrong.

This was how my experience with NICU started. With no previous experience or idea about the unit, I thought I had entered the most difficult part of my life.

It came to me as a shock because there weren’t complications within the period of the pregnancy except the usual fatigue and other issues associated with pregnancy.

I was actually on an assignment when the call came, informing me that my girls would be admitted.

So I rushed to Korle Bu where my wife, mother and young brother were with them and I was ushered in.

When I saw them in an equipment with some lights on them and still in their ‘sleeping business’, I just looked up and told God, ‘Father please this can’t be my portion. Please grant us healing mercies.’

They had being diagnosed of neonatal jaundice and were under phototherapy

The daily routine of running tests, moving up and down to the laboratory, exchanging duties with my wife and mother was draining.

The close to three weeks they stayed there were the most challenging period of my life as I had to also be focused on my work.

It took a “community”

Thankfully, I had a wonderful family that supported morning, afternoon, evening and nights. I remember specific days when I would be called around midnight to get something done, either to get a report from the lab or to send some samples there, which outcome would be needed in the early hours of the day.

My brother supported and worked as if he was our driver. My mother sacrificed her sleep hours. I had a cousin at the Korle Bu Central Laboratory who also helped. My wife’s parent’s also took care of Jason our first son for the period we spent at the hospital.

As I sat in the office one day and saw a call from my mum, my heart beated, expecting to hear another lab rounds so I was a little hesitant in picking the call but when I did, it was a pleasant news of us being discharged.

In all of this, I gave thanks to the Almighty God for healing them. I was also full of gratitude to the doctors and nurses that worked hard to ensure these little ones survived.

There was a particular young male doctor I met one morning when I visited them. When I got back there in the evening at almost 7pm, he was standing by my kids and I asked why he was still working. He told me there was no doctor yet to replace him.

He made me realise that there are still angels that work in our midst. It’s eight years so I believe I can be pardoned for forgetting his name.

NICU is not just a bad experience. For me, it taught me a lot about family bonding and leaving at peace with all. Within that period, I realised my burden was everyone’s burden and was constantly receiving calls from all manner of people- from family, church, friends and work colleagues.

I am eternally grateful to all. I won’t wish for any parent to experience this but if you find yourself in it, just brace yourself for a difficult chapter and as partners, be there for one another. It makes the burden lighter. Thank God again we braved the odds. To God be the glory for the great things he has done….Amen