A taste of ‘hell’

‘A taste taste of hell’ is a guest blog by Jasmine, a first-time mother. In this blog, she shares her experience on an unexpected Caesarean section (C-section)

It was about 10pm when I started feeling pulsating pains in my abdomen. It was so intense I thought I was going to give birth at any moment if I didn’t rush to the hospital. Two days after my due date and praying to God for a safe delivery, I was more than excited that finally the 40-week journey was coming to an end.

Little did I know what was coming next was worse than the last few weeks of pregnancy. I had already packed my hospital bag into my car trunk when I was 35 weeks pregnant in case of any unexpected event. But my baby had other plans.

I quickly took a shower and immediately I got out of the bathroom, I felt what I thought was my water breaking. By then it was about 10:30pm. I literally screamed my husband’s name amid tears and probably anxiety that the baby was coming.

Recalling the journey to the hospital, I realise how dramatic the whole pre-birth process was. My gosh, I recall telling my husband’s auntie in Ga that I wanted to pass stool and her response was, “Please don’t poop (sic). It’s tempting to, but don’t.” Her assurance and gentle rubs on my back eased my pains to some extent.

Nil dilation

I started monitoring the seconds the pains lasted for and the intervals with which they occurred. It was between 45 and 60 seconds with each pain and between one and 1:45 minutes intervals. So when we got to the hospital at about 11:30pm and after going through all the necessary formalities, I was shocked when the midwife told me I hadn’t dilated even a centimetre.

“What!” was my reaction. “It can’t be,” I told her; and repeated the intervals with each labour pain and the seconds it lasted for. What was even shocking for me was when she added that my water had not broken. Ei, so what was that I felt trickling down my thighs? She only looked at me with a smile and admitted me to the facility.

Herh! I was in shock. I cried amidst the pains, telling my husband it wasn’t possible.

After almost 18 hours of being in “labour”, I had dilated only 3cm and at a point, I even fell asleep like a baby. That was not normal. At about 6pm, my obstetrician told me I was going to be prepared for an emergency C-section because my cervix was too high and also because my labour pains had eased. Medically, the C-section had been necessitated due to a Cephalopelvic disproportion ( A disproportion between the baby’s head size and mother’s pelvis size.) I was surprised though but I received the news in good faith.

The midwife came in and inserted a catheter, changed my clothes and wheeled me into the operating theatre. I wasn’t scared, not for a minute, and I recall singing Joe Mettle’s song “Peace” repeatedly during the entire process.

After the anaesthetist prepared me for the surgery, all I could feel were sort of some electric shocks anytime I was touched. I didn’t realise it when I was cut open. All this time, my husband was watching the entire process with rapt attention. I remember telling him I was feeling cold. Honestly, at a point I thought I was dying. The surgery happened so fast and in a blink of an eye, at 8:49pm, I heard my baby crying.

‘A taste of hell’

The cold I felt after the surgery was nothing compared to the cold felt on top of the Kwahu Mountains; it pierced through my bones even though I was covered with two thick blankets. I asked the anaesthetist why I was shivering and he said the anaesthesia was wearing off.

I slept shortly afterwards and when I woke up, the reality dawned on me. Jesus! I was in pain. Unbearable pain. Pain I had never felt before. Ei. Is this what some women had described as the easiest way of childbirth? This is a taste of hell! Worst of all, I was thirsty because I had not drank water for more than six hours.

I called for the nurses and being so helpless, I begged them to give me a pain killer and some water but my request was denied. I had never felt the kind of thirst and pain I felt that day. It was excruciating. Then I remembered the story of Lazarus and the rich man in the Bible.

After some hours, I was administered some medicines to ease my pain and help me sleep again. I woke up with a nurse standing by my bedside preparing to give me a bath.

All this time, I hadn’t held my baby. She just lay in the cot next to me looking so adorable. I couldn’t believe I had just birthed this tiny human and I desperately wanted to hold her in my arms but my body wouldn’t allow me.

First steps and breastfeeding

When I finally returned to the maternity ward, another reality set in. I had to breastfeed her. Even before that, I wanted to use the bathroom and my oh my, getting up from the bed was hell.

Luckily, my mom was sitting next to me when I woke up; so she aided me to the bathroom. As for what happened there, I can’t describe with words. All I can say is Jesus Christ, and those were the exact words I uttered when I sat on the water closet to do my number one and two.

Hmmm… I returned to the room to find my little angel staring into my face. I had to breastfeed her even in my pain. Worst of all, my breast milk wasn’t flowing. I felt pity for her while feeling pity for myself.

For the four days I stayed in the hospital, I couldn’t breastfeed her. I felt sorry for myself. Honestly, I thought I had failed.

For weeks, I couldn’t cough, sneeze or fart without holding my abdomen.

Recovery

I don’t think I have completely healed from the caesarean section. Sometimes I look at my scar and wonder if I failed by not having a vaginal birth. I remember going to bed on countless occasions in tears and feeling less of a woman.

That’s an honest truth. Mentally, the recovery process was slow but I’m grateful to God for a successful birth and a healthy baby.

It’s a lie when people assume CS is the easiest way of childbirth. Being my first child and for that matter my first experience, I doubt it is the easiest. Probably the time it takes to have your baby delivered is shorter than some vaginal births, but I believe the process of recovery is different for every individual because I have heard some harrowing stories of mothers who went through vaginal birth and wished for a CS instead.

For me, my difficulty was or is because after my due date passed by two days, if I knew I would eventually go through a CS, I would have opted for that right from the beginning rather than go through hours of pain only to go under the knife.

Editor’s note :April is Caesarean section awareness month and this blog, ‘A taste of hell’ is one of the blogs that demystifies CS as the easy way out . Have a birth experience or an experience in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) you would like to share? Kindly send an email to nicusoldiers@gmail.com