Two months in NICU as a single mother

Being a single mother is difficult but spending two months in NICU as a single mother is more tasking.

Ms Thelma Longdon was not new to motherhood. Although she had some challenges few months into her third pregnancy, she never anticipated giving birth prematurely or ending up in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). In fact, she had no idea such a place existed.

About three months into her pregnancy, she noticed spots of blood and rushed to a health facility nearby for medical assistance.

A follow up ultrasound scan showed that the foetus was developing properly with no signs of distress or need for concern.

She later started seeing discharges similar to water and was advised by her Obstetrician to increase her fluid intake as the level of the amniotic fluid (Liquid around baby) was decreasing.

A few days after turning six months, she felt pains similar to contractions but thought it was the baby turning around.

“At one of my earlier scans, I was told the baby was in breech position (bottom first) and so when the pain started, I assumed he was turning into the head down position, but after two days the pain became unbearable.

“Around midnight I went to the washroom, realised the colour of my discharge had changed and rushed to the hospital.”

Referred to  Korle Bu

Thelma said in the vehicle to the hospital, the contractions increased and she felt her baby coming out.

“As soon as I got to the hospital, one of the nurses checked my antenatal record book and said I was only a little over six months so I should go back home. At that point, I couldn’t control myself and yelled at her that the baby was coming. I was asked to lie down for examination. The nurse realised the baby’s hand was out and hurriedly called her superior,” she recounted.

She said the facility didn’t have a NICU so she was immediately referred to the Korle Bu Teaching Hospital, which was few minutes away.

Shortly after arriving at the Korle Bu Teaching Hospital, she delivered a baby boy who was whisked to the NICU.

What she saw the following morning at the NICU shocked her. She confirms that nothing really prepares you for the NICU.

“There he lay in the incubator. Very tiny, eyes covered and looking very frail. He was so little that the face covering had taken most of his face so I called one of the nurses who uncovered his face for me to look at his face properly,” she said.

The days after first seeing her son were difficult and unlike some of the mothers who shared the burden with their partners, Thelma was a single mother whose main support was her mother.

She had to run around for laboratory tests, buy medications and be there for the baby from morning till the last visiting time which ended around 8 p.m.

Struggles as a single mother

The unit opened at 9 a.m. so each day, she arrived before that time and visited four times within the day to express breast milk and feed.

After each feeding session, she sat in front of the unit with other mothers and waited till the next visit.

“For those two months, I ate my lunch in that corridor and took afternoon naps on the bare floor as I was always tired from the rounds I had to do.

“If I had labs to do, I would go to the laboratory department, pay for and collect the containers, before coming for the sample at NICU. Some of these rounds took over two hours and by the time the next feeding session was up, I would be exhausted but had no option than to visit and feed.

“My baby really went through a lot at the NICU and I had to be on my feet and make sure I was up-to-date with everything the health experts were doing. They repeated some of the labs more than five times.

Baby fights for life

“One night I was called back to the NICU as my baby’s condition was deteriorating; his oxygen saturation kept dropping and when I arrived at the unit, all the doctors and nurses on duty were by his incubator. The cover of the incubator had been taken off and he had been wrapped in a big towel.

“Fortunately, just when I reached the unit with my mother, the oxygen levels started picking up. He was eventually stabilised and I was given a prescription to buy some drugs the following morning. Honestly that night, I couldn’t sleep as I had seen other babies die at the unit. Some of the nurses were not even sure he could make it to the next morning,” she added.

Another challenge she faced was feeding. The baby had made progress with feeding but he suddenly began throwing up after each feeding. The doctors were worried because some of the breast milk could accidentally block his airways.

They had made progress from feeding 2 millimetres (ml) to 20ml but when the vomiting started, they had to go back to 2ml.

How I survived NICU

Oh how she survived NICU, Thelma said she was grateful to her mother for her constant support throughout and after her NICU stay. She added that she built a good relationships with the nurses and doctors at the unit and so she could easily ask them about her child’s condition.

“Every day when I arrived at the unit, I would exchange pleasantries with everyone I see and ask whether we were making progress and seek explanations of our lab results if there were any. I think every doctor or nurse at the unit at the time knew me.

“If you stay at NICU for a long period, you will come into contact with other people at other departments in the hospital. I maintained good relationships with the team at the Central Laboratory, Blood Bank, pharmacies and every other unit I was sent to because if they delayed it affected the process at NICU.

“Most importantly, I kept a positive outlook and prayed to God for complete healing. There were very difficult days, days that our monitor would beep all day, days that I was uncertain of the next minute but I never gave up. NICU is a difficult place but it is more difficult if you are a single mother. I had faith that no matter how long we stayed at the unit, we would eventually go home,” she said.

Life after NICU

In October this year, Thelma’s son, Joel turns four and despite his many challenges at the NICU, he has grown into a healthy and lively boy.

“Thankfully, he recovered completely from all his conditions. In his first year, some of his milestones delayed but eventually, he achieved all and has never had any crisis,” Thelma stated.